Ugh! Why am I SO STRESSED?

"Ugh! Why am I SO STRESSED?"

Have you been saying any version of this statement lately?

Let’s start with a few basic definitions: 

• A stressor is “something that causes a state of strain or tension” (i.e., stress). Stressors can come from outside of us (relationships, work conditions, environmental conditions) or from within (mood, injury, illness).
• Stress is “any change that causes physical, emotional, or psychological strain. Stress is your body's response to anything that requires attention or action. Everyone experiences stress to some degree.” Essentially, stress is our experience of stressors.  

You are likely SO STRESSED or STUCK ON STRESS because you haven’t successfully reduced your stressors. Which interestingly enough, feeling stressed is a stressor. So stressors lead to stress, and stress is a stressor… That’s a fun little cycle, huh?! 

Ready to disrupt it?

What I am about to offer is not intended for those of you who are struggling to take care of basic needs or are just doing your best to survive (unless of course any of it resonates - then take what works and leave the rest.) 

This message is for those who, like me, often think “I CANNOT TAKE ANYTHING OFF MY PLATE! I MUST DO IT ALL!” 

This is for those of us who want it our way and have a difficult time seeing alternative options. This is for those of us who struggle to ask for help. 

You are going to do 2 things (order doesn’t matter):

1. Make a nice, juicy list of all YOUR stressors…
   • …go through it and decide what can be:
     • Removed
     • Rescheduled
     • Reduced in intensity
     • Or done by someone else (if it’s necessary and doesn’t add stress for them - no dumping)
2. Practice self-regulation. I can’t tell you what tools will be best for you, but here is something that will help. Learning to be in control of your response to stress is a skill worthy of ongoing practice - because life will continue to challenge us.
   • Identify your stress (a word or phrase works). Measure the intensity of this stress on a 0-10 scale. How strong is it? 0 being it doesn’t exist and 10 being it is the most intense version of it. 
   • Take action. At this step, try some things out: take a few deep breaths, go for a walk, call a friend, journal, make a pros/cons list, etc. 
   • Then, re-evaluate your stress. Again, pick a word or phrase that describes how you feel and the appropriate intensity level from 0-10. Ideally you are in the 0-3 range. If you make it to 0 (calm, balanced) that is GREAT!