My Relationship with the Outdoors

I used to appreciate the outdoors, but in a “Yeah yeah yeah, it’s nice out here” way. Now I go outside and I am constantly in awe, even moved to tears, by how gorgeous our planet is and how incredible it is to be out in nature. 

Here is what changed me: I had to change my perspective and clear out old stuff. When my internal state was that of frustration, annoyance, or stress, the world was a space I moved through to accomplish the next task or check the next box. I had no time to smell the roses, which for me meant that I gave no value to that. My focus was on the next task (or the next 5 tasks out…) - a very focused, but very limiting lifestyle.

I remember I met someone once and I shared how I was ambitious (a source of pride for me), and his response was, “Yeah, but how do you slow down?” I remember being somewhat offended (there was a lot behind that), but the question stuck with me. 

When I started to slow down, it was uncomfortable. I felt guilty and self-indulgent. I also had NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. I was so used to working that the freedom of free time was overwhelming and I found myself wanting to gravitate back to work.

That pull comes back when my stress is high. But in the absence of immediate deadlines, what I have been doing more of is taking myself for a walk.

But whether I’m going on a walk or not, I have mainly reconnected to my love of being outside, so I make sure I get out proactively. Usually I can make a walk happen (no devices - just myself, or me with my boys) or some other visit to nature. Other times, I take a trip to the beach to enjoy the sounds of the ocean or appreciate its massiveness, I go on a hike, or I explore somewhere new. But on the days when I need nature and have limited time, I stand on my front porch and just let the sun hit me, and like a little lizard on a rock, I feel amazing.