Is self-care selfish?

Self-care might feel selfish if you are new to it or if you haven’t seen it modeled (or worse yet, if people in your life have criticized you or others for engaging in it).

If I look back on who my models were, I had one of my parental figures whose self-worth was so low he barely had adequate housing, another one who was chronically in survival mode, and yet another who gave to everyone else but themself.

Sadly, I can’t tell you how many people share some version of this story.

Self-care is a continuum of activities that range from taking care of your own basic needs to those that feel indulgent… and there is a lot that falls in between. Each of us has to start somewhere. For some, getting out of bed, brushing one's teeth, or showering, are acts of self-care. For others, it's finding time during the day to take pleasure in activities that are nurturing, pleasurable, or invigorating. There really is no right or wrong, and what each of us considers to be self-care will evolve over time. We change and our needs change.

My hope for all of us, regardless of what is or was modeled, is that we realize we are worthy of our own time.

Try this: start your day taking time for yourself rather than waiting for the end of the day to come and you are too tired to move. Do not operate off the scraps of your own energy. Try this for a week and let me know if anything changes.